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Published by Duncan Flynn
Copyright © 2004, All rights reserved.
PO Box 1041 ~
Maleny, Queensland
4552 Australia
Phone: 0417 721 802
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Funny Poets web site - http://www.funnypoets.com
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Author, Editor-in-Chief & Publisher:
Duncan Flynn email@funnypoets.com
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FUNNY OF THE WEEK:
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A lady, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf
that was crossing the road.
Being honest, and somewhat distressed, she went to
the owner of the calf and explained what had happened.
She then asked what the animal was worth.
"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six
years it would have been worth $900.
So $900 is what I'm out."
The lady immediately sat down and wrote out a check
and handed it to the farmer.
"Here," she said, "is your check for $900! It's postdated
six years from now.........."
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FUNNY POEM OF THE WEEK:
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COLD HARD FACTS
"Move closer to the wall, my son, and speak into the grille
Confession is the saviour of the soul
If there's something on your conscience, if you're feeling weak or
ill Confess... and ye shall once again be whole!
Ask the lord for his salvation, he is waiting for your call"
"I'm afraid I've sinned too greatly" said the voice behind the
wall.
"Let's see if I have got it straight - your wife... her name is
Liza She's inclined to wear her dresses rather short
She was bending over looking for an ice cream in the freezer
When you, behind her, had this lustful thought
She had to lean way over, for she isn't very tall..."
"And I wanted chocolate brickle" said the voice behind the wall.
"Now, I know you're newly-married (since you made your vows before
us)But married people often act up thus
It sometimes spoils the pleasure if the sex is too decorous
So I see no reason why to make a fuss
Perhaps your wife objected... did she try to start a brawl?"
"No... I think she rather liked it" said the voice behind the wall.
"Then go, my son, I find no blame... your actions may be kinky
Tell Liza to be careful with her dress
Next time she looks for ice cream to wear something long and slinky
Then her husband will have nothing to confess
We will not throw you out of church... I find no sin at all..."
"Well they threw us out of Woolworths!" said the voice behind the
wall.
Written by Charlee Marshall
copyright 1989 © Outback Music Publishing
All rights reserved. International copyrights secured.
========================================
"Earn a Full-time Income from Part-time Poetry!"
Want to leave your job and earn the same income
(or more) from poetry? You don't know where to start?
Find hundreds of tips and ideas from successful poets
in the exciting new e-book 'Earn a Full-time Income from
Part-time Poetry', compiled by Arcadia Flynn.
Omss, click here to find out more:
http://www.funnypoets.com/income4poets.htm
========================================
Wealth Skills, P.O.Box 1041, Maleny, Qld 4552, Australia
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