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Published by Duncan Flynn
Copyright © 2004, All rights reserved.
PO Box 1041 ~
Maleny, Queensland
4552 Australia
Phone: 0417 721 802
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Funny Poets web site - http://www.funnypoets.com
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Author, Editor-in-Chief & Publisher:
Duncan Flynn email@funnypoets.com
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FUNNY OF THE WEEK:
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Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when
Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by.
"Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!"
"Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong
Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll
pull ye right out o' there."
Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy's hand and
pulled and pulled to no avail. After two more
unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Paddy, "Shure,
an' Oi can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone,
mebbe, but Oi'll have to get some help."
As Mick was leaving, Paddy called "Mick! Mick! D'ye
think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?"
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FUNNY THOUGHT OF THE WEEK:
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"The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke,
but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet."
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FUNNY POEM OF THE WEEK
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ONE UGLY DOG
Copyright; Wally Finch
(From his book 'Been There – Done That')
"Davo" Davidson had a dog
that was the meanest thing around.
No one knew what breed he was.
We just called him "that mongrel hound"
People throughout our Shire
always gave him the widest berth
Because he stood over a metre tall
and was huge around the girth.
Mid afternoon on Saturdays
Davo always came to town
And settled down in the Public Bar
till closing time came round,
Calling Davo an arrogant man
was to understate the case.
But still he had an aura
that gave character to the place.
Now we know it isn't legal
and we know it isn't right
Davo could con any stranger
to put his dog up to fight.
Watching Davo reel his victims in
was incredible to see.
They paid up on a chancy set up
applied convincingly.
How they bolted without caution,
like thirsty horses to water.
Little knowing little caring,
they were led like lambs to slaughter.
Their first sign of trouble came
when they saw "that mongrel hound".
The second came as they learned defeat
has a distinctive sound.
One stranger seemed familiar.
Davo thought he'd seen him before.
But the stranger said, "I've not been here
for twenty years or more.
"But perhaps you might've heard about
my African Fighting Dog -
Ugliest thing you ever saw -
brainless as a hollow log,"
Everyone stood silent
while Davo moved in for the kill.
He dared the stranger to fight his dog.
All was quiet and still.
The stranger agreed to get his dog with,
"I'll meet you in the street,"
The battle would be waged as usual
in the dust and the heat.
When Davo saw the stranger's dog
he couldn't believe his eyes.
The ugliest thing he ever saw
and what an enormous size!
The beast had strange tufts of hair
around the back of head and throat
And an evil look in his yellow eye,
Davo cleared his throat.
The fight ended in an instant
with a growl sounding like a roar.
The ugly dog clobbered that mongrel hound
with a mighty paw,
Well Davo's dog was sent rolling
fairly half way up the street
He ran for his life as Davo muttered,
"First time he's been beat."
As he paid the stranger his winnings
Davo scratched his head,
"Never heard of that breed before.
African Fighting Dog you said?"
"That's right, Davo," the stranger said.
"He's an ugly critter hey?
But you should've seen him
before I shaved that mane away."
Copyright; Wally Finch
http://www.funnypoets.com
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Wealth Skills, P.O.Box 1041, Maleny, Qld 4552, Australia
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